Listen, you’ve earned the right to skip the chaos if you want to. After decades of hosting, cooking, cleaning, and making sure everyone else has a perfect holiday, maybe it’s your turn to be served. A Thanksgiving escape isn’t selfish; it’s self-care. Here’s how to plan one that refreshes your spirit without exhausting your wallet.

First, decide what “relaxing” means to you. Some of us want a beach where we can listen to waves and read books we’ve been meaning to get to. Others want a cabin in the mountains with a fireplace and silence. Maybe you want a spa resort where someone else makes the meals and changes the sheets. Know what will actually restore you, not what Instagram says you should want.

Consider destinations within driving distance to save on airfare. A three or four-hour drive can take you to a completely different environment. State parks often have lodges or cabins that are affordable and beautiful. Smaller cities have charming bed and breakfasts that offer Thanksgiving packages at reasonable rates.

Look for all-inclusive options. When you’re truly trying to relax, you don’t want to worry about where you’ll eat or what things cost. Many resorts offer Thanksgiving packages that include accommodations, meals, and activities for one upfront price. It’s easier on your budget and your peace of mind.

Travel with sister-friends who get it. Going solo is wonderful, but there’s something special about a girlfriends’ getaway where everyone understands the need for rest. Split the cost of a nice rental house, take turns cooking simple meals (or agree to eat out), and spend your days doing exactly what you want.

Book early but look for deals. November is shoulder season for many destinations, which means lower prices. Sign up for alerts from travel sites. Use your AARP membership for discounts. Check if any hotels offer special rates for seniors. Your age is finally working in your favor.

Pack strategically for relaxation. Comfortable clothes, your favorite books, good walking shoes, medications, and anything else that supports your wellness routine. Don’t forget items that help you sleep well in new places: your pillow, a sleep mask, earplugs, or white noise app.

Build in flexibility. Don’t pack your escape with so many activities that you need a vacation from your vacation. The point is to relax. If that means spending an entire afternoon napping and reading, that’s perfect. If it means taking a slow walk and people-watching, wonderful. Honor your energy and your needs.

Create boundaries with family beforehand. Let them know you’ll be unavailable for the traditional gathering and that you’re taking time for yourself. You don’t need to over-explain or apologize. A simple “I’m taking a personal retreat this year” is sufficient. Turn off notifications if you need to. They’ll survive without you.

Consider a staycation if travel feels like too much. Book a nice hotel in your own city. Visit local attractions you’ve never made time for. Eat at restaurants you’ve been curious about. Sleep in. Order room service. You can get the benefits of escape without the travel stress.

Build in some gratitude practices. Thanksgiving doesn’t require a table full of people. You can honor the spirit of the holiday in quiet ways: journaling about what you’re grateful for, meditating on your blessings, taking photos of beauty you encounter, calling friends to tell them what they mean to you.

Come back refreshed, not guilty. Some family members might not understand, but that’s their work to do, not yours. You’re modeling something important: that Black women deserve rest, that we don’t have to sacrifice ourselves on the altar of other people’s expectations, that our well-being matters. That’s a powerful lesson.