I became a mother at an age that the medical field describes as “advanced age.” That has made me think seriously about how I parent and how old my child will be when I want to retire! It also reminds me that there are many grandmothers out there raising their grand babies. In today’s dynamic society, the role of grandparents in raising grandchildren is becoming increasingly prevalent. Whether due to unforeseen circumstances, such as parental incapacity or familial crises, or as a matter of choice, many grandmothers find themselves taking on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren. This essay aims to provide essential tips and guidance for grandmothers embarking on this significant journey, navigating the complexities and joys of nurturing the next generation.

• Embrace the Role Wholeheartedly – Grandmothers stepping into the role of primary caregiver must first embrace their new role wholeheartedly. While the circumstances may differ from traditional grandparenting, the opportunity to provide love, guidance, and stability to their grandchildren is invaluable. Embracing this role shift with positivity and dedication sets the foundation for a fulfilling journey ahead.
• Prioritize Self-Care – Raising grandchildren can be physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding. Grandmothers must prioritize self-care to ensure they can effectively care for their grandchildren. This includes maintaining regular health check-ups, engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation, and seeking support from friends, family, or support groups when needed. Remember, self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for long-term well-being.
• Celebrate the Joys of Multigenerational Living – While caregiving at an advanced age may present unique challenges, it also offers the opportunity for rich, multigenerational family experiences. Embrace the joys of seeing your children and grandchildren grow and thrive together, creating lasting memories and strengthening family bonds that span generations.
• Embrace the Wisdom of Experience – Advanced age often brings with it a wealth of life experience and wisdom. Embrace this wisdom and draw upon it to navigate the challenges of motherhood with confidence and grace. Reflect on past successes and lessons learned, and trust in your ability to overcome obstacles and make informed decisions for both your children and grandchildren.

• Educate Yourself Continuously – The role of caregiving evolves over time, and staying informed is crucial for adapting to changing needs and circumstances. Grandmothers should seek opportunities for continuous learning, whether through parenting classes, workshops, or online resources. Stay abreast of child development research, parenting techniques, and relevant legal and financial information to make informed decisions.
• Establish Routines and Boundaries – Consistent routines and clear boundaries are essential for creating stability and security in the household. Establishing regular meal times, bedtime routines, and rules helps children feel safe and understand expectations. Additionally, setting boundaries regarding behavior, screen time, and household responsibilities fosters discipline and respect.
• Communicate Openly and Honestly – Effective communication is key to maintaining strong relationships within the family unit. Grandmothers should create an environment where their grandchildren feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Encourage open dialogue, active listening, and honesty to nurture trust and understanding.

• Build a Support Network – Raising grandchildren is not a journey to embark on alone. Building a strong support network is vital for both practical assistance and emotional support. Reach out to friends, family members, community organizations, and support groups for guidance, encouragement, and camaraderie. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child.
• Stay Connected with Peers – Maintaining social connections with peers and friends is essential for emotional well-being and support. Whether through regular meetups, hobby groups, or online communities, staying connected with peers allows you to share experiences, seek advice, and find camaraderie with others who may be navigating similar challenges.
• Plan for the Future – As a mother at an advanced age, it’s crucial to plan for the future, both for yourself and your children. Consider estate planning, including wills, trusts, and guardianship arrangements, to ensure the well-being of your children and grandchildren in the event of unforeseen circumstances. Additionally, prioritize your own financial security and retirement planning to safeguard your future and provide peace of mind for yourself and your family.

The role of grandmothers in raising their grandchildren is a profound and noble undertaking. By embracing this responsibility with love, patience, and dedication, grandmothers have the opportunity to positively impact the lives of their grandchildren and contribute to the well-being of future generations. Through prioritizing self-care, establishing routines and boundaries, fostering open communication, seeking support, and continuously educating themselves, grandmothers can navigate this journey with confidence and grace. May your  efforts be rewarded with boundless love, joy, and fulfillment as they nurture and shape the lives of their precious grandchildren.

You may find your Grandmother tribe at voicesofblackgrandmothers.com.

Written by Shannon Mokoro.