It is easy to say don’t be afraid to love because the disappointment in others colors our ability to let go and love again.  Parents mistreat us growing up and sometimes to the point of abuse.  Your first love did not return the affection and sometimes fooled you into thinking they really care when they do not.  Kids at your school made fun of you because of the clothes you wore (or didn’t have) or you were poor and didn’t meet their standards of what is hip or cool.  You felt rejected because you were not popular or part of the in the “in-crowd.”   So what? You are grown now and those kids are not important.

The other big one is that you find out your husband has been cheating on you and you are the last to know.  Oh yea, one cannot forget a boss that does not respect you and often harasses you. Or, you did something stupid that you forever regret.

That is a mighty long list of reasons not to love yourself.  Yes, sometimes you must go deep within to not let anyone or anything take your joy.  

But, I want you to know one thing. Nobody can take loving yourself from you. Yes, it is time you fell in love with YOU!  Self-love is an underrated concept.  Yep, I have had to take that journey myself.  Discovering who I am and what God designed me to be has been a beautiful thing and often difficult – thrown in with a little pain.  Try it and don’t be shy about it.  You will survive it.  I did and I look and feel great because nobody can define me or take my joy. I love me!

Unfortunately, the media often leads us down fairytale lane, and we try and reach an impossible view of perfection for ourselves.  You cannot let others define who you are and certainly not apply perfection to yourself.  Nothing is perfect – even you.  Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down.  Sometimes you fill your head with “shoulda-wouldas” not considering we all make bad decisions, do something dumb, and have regrets.  Suck it up, forgive yourself and keep it moving.

 As Maya Angelo says, Phenomenal Woman, that’s me.  I love the poem Phenomenal Woman because Maya points out that however God made you, accept it, get some style, and strut it.  See what she says about loving yourself.

It’s never too late to fall in love with yourself.

Dr. Lou